Making a long distance relationship work

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Ellie Accordino, Junior Contributor

As a teenage girl in a relationship with an older guy, I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen to our relationship when he went to college a couple of hours away. I’m sure many other girls in the same position wonder the same things and suffer the same fears and anxieties. The idea of them going away with all new people and things to do can be pretty intimidating. Although, I can reassure you it is not all that bad…

We have been together for about three years now, and would hang out as much as we possibly could, often multiple times a week. We found it best to focus on enjoying the time we had together before he left because we knew that distance would make it much harder to see each other, but definitely not impossible to make it work. 

I think it was really crucial for us to have the conversations we did before he left, just about things we were thinking and worrying about, being as open and honest as possible. I told him about certain fears that I had about the new people he would meet and the new experiences he would be exposed to, and he was able to reassure me that nothing would change anything between us. I knew that to be the truth deep down, but it still felt good to hear him say it. 

We knew that we would probably not see each other for weeks at a time, and though we would miss each other, we focused on the fact that when he would come home, our time together would be all the more special. 

Obviously all of what we discussed was futuristic and we both really didn’t know what would happen for sure, which is what scared me the most. Although, it is almost five months later and here’s what our relationship is like now…

The first couple weeks he was gone, it was difficult getting adjusted. I’ve found that it was important to make the time to Facetime when we were able to, just to catch up and see each other, even if it was virtually. He came home after about four weeks, and it felt so good to see him again. Now that we do not see each other often, we are both equally making time to hang out and are much more motivated to do fun things together. We prioritize one another and do not take any moments together for granted.

There are of course some times where I find myself a little uneasy with certain situations he is in, considering I am not there with him, but trust and communication is key when it comes to any relationship, especially long distance. All of the little fights we would argue about while he was in high school seem so unimportant and quite frankly silly now. Whenever there is a circumstance where one of us has an issue, we talk about it, work through it, and figure out a solution. He communicates everything that goes on while he’s away, constantly keeping me in the loop and leaving me with no reason to worry. That is so important, now more than ever. 

Overall, our relationship has grown and matured in so many ways. Throughout the last few months, I have learned how significant trust, communication, and appreciation of one another is. I couldn’t be happier with how we have both handled this distance. I have no doubt that if anyone else is having the same thoughts I was prior to their boyfriend or girlfriend leaving, that if they prioritize these ideas, then they too will find the same happiness in their relationship.